Kinda.
Monthly Archive for January, 2008
Kinda.
The kiddos help daddy open his early birthday present. Nice watch!
bigR *always* has time to stop and smell the flowers.
T and littleR sit back and reflect on the huge meal they each just
consumed at Buca di Beppo in Waikiki.
- At the hospital checking MRI results. Then I get to go back to work for a 5 o’clock brief! Awesome! Thanks, Sergeant Major! #
- I now officially have a *permanent* H2 hearing profile. Next stop, new job, baby! #
- Also the MRI shows of damage to my frontal lobe, affecting short-term memory loss. Most likely due to long-term high blood pressure :/ Shit. #
- Aww how sad. The little boy next to me just asked his mom if they could get a new house for his birthday
# - Dude Carlos Santana is such a badass. #
- Foo Fighters videos are so cool. Rivaled only by … Tool? #
- @wilw: Better luck waiting on the second coming, I’d say. OK Computer is about as close to impossible to top as anything, IMHO. #
- Huh. So now the old AT&T RAZR has full signal and my new Verizon Treo has one bar. How about some consistency here, people! #
- @boisvertfj: Get an Eye-Fi Wi-Fi SD card and set it to auto dump to your network. Or flickr. Or wherever. #
- Well that PT test didn’t go at all as I’d hoped, but *did* end up precisely as expected - marginal. #
I went to the ENT doc today to follow up on the results of my MRI. Good news is I do not have a tumor. The hearing loss is, indeed, attributable to damage to the inner ear itself. This was the good news.
The less than good news deals with the “bright spots” on the front of my brain. The doc mentioned this could be the cause of some memory loss, and is likely resultant from long-term hypertension. Google has scared the bejesus out of me by matching the terms “frontal lobe” and “bright spots” with frightening terms like “early onset dementia” and OMFG “multiple sclerosis”. Good bye fear of tumors, hello fear of MS. (It certainly does not help that I’m right in the middle of reading The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan.)
I hope I’m being dramatic. I hope the bright spots are nothing to worry about. I hope there was just some fuzz on the imaging equipment. I hope … my doctor was lying?
I’m having trouble putting this into words suitable for the entire family, so I’ll just come out with it: Holy fucking shit what is my fucking problem? I have known about my hypertension for three years and I have done nothing. Every few months I decide to have a few bowls of oatmeal for breakfast and pat myself on the back, then it’s right back to the same old routine of omelets, sausage and waffles smothered in syrup with six cups of coffee and Taco Bell for lunch.
I suppose I just wasn’t scared of the words “high blood pressure” or “increased risk of sudden cardiac death”. Those were just … maybes, risks, scare tactics … things that could happen, but probably won’t.
And then there’s today. This is not a maybe. This is not what might happen. This has happened. Physical evidence of scarring to the brain, along with an already quantifiable loss of short-term memory.
I don’t even know what else to say. Serious - fucking - wake-up call.
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