Tag Archive for 'frustration'

unmedicated

Published
by
iAN
on April 28, 2008
in general musings
. 4 Comments

August 5th, 2006: I am pretty happy with life in general.

August 6th, 2006: Upset to be leaving to Iraq for a year, but sure the trek will make me stronger, better.

August 6th, 2007: 365 days in Iraq; nearly 60 days to go - my confidence wanes.  I am unhappy.

September 26th, 2007: My feet are back on the ground in Hawaii, and I am happy to be home.

April 22nd, 2008: After dealing with serious emotional issues for several months, I succumb to the reality I may need medication.

April 23rd, 2008: I visit the Soldier Assistance Center and ask to see my provider to discuss medication options.  I am told walk-in hours are at 7:30 AM. Won’t you please come back tomorrow?

April 24th, 2008: It is 7:15 AM and I wait for the doors to open.  They do, and I am told all questions regarding medication must be addressed in their daily walk-in medication briefings, held at 1:30 PM.  Won’t you please come back this afternoon?

April 28th, 2008: Unable to return for Thursday’s walk-in, and again unable to enjoy the weekend, I take time out of my day off to travel to work and attend the medication briefing.  I am told those briefings are held at 10:30 AM on Mondays. Won’t you please come back tomorrow?

Tomorrow I have a dental appointment at 10:30, and bigR’s soccer practice at 5.  It is highly unlikely I will be given the liberty to disappear from work three times in one day.  Won’t you please try again Wednesday?

At this point I am certain I would have more success seeking “medication” from random strangers on the streets of Wahiawa.

so much time, so little music

Published
by
iAN
on April 14, 2008
in army
. 2 Comments

In the Army world of guarded, monitored and firewalled computers, it’s difficult for a guy to just sit and listen to some music while doing the day’s work (But you’re not working, you’re blogging, you say?  True, but you’re not my boss, so BACK OFF!).

I trudged through attempted installations of my usual top three for media players in a feeble attempt to get something up and running.  MediaMonkey: No-go, must be administrator to install.  iTunes: Yeah, right, just TRY and install iTunes on a Government computer.  Winamp: Yes!  Holy crap it worked - for three days.  And then, the following friendly message:

The “problem” with Winamp was not necessarily playing music files, but its submission of played tracks to Last.FM - WHAT IS THIS NETWORK TRAFFIC THIS IS NOT ARMY CANCEL CANCEL DIE DIE DIE!

Determined to continue rocking out, I tried a few other tricks, to no avail.  Apparently government computer + music = violation.  Period.  Here’s the kicker, though.  I can’t listen to music locally, but I can stream music from Yahoo!’s LAUNCHcast.  And here’s the real kicker: I can’t listen to truly excellent streaming sites like Pandora or Jango; both are blocked by our firewall.  So that’s it.  Yahoo! music.  And Yahoo! seems to think since I like bands like Morphine, Sufjan Stevens, and the Pixies, I must also want to enjoy P.O.D. and Clay Aiken and … ugh.  Absolutely terrible suggestion engine.  (Mental note, maybe Joel can do something about this!)

I may just revert to the trusty old iPod and portable speaker solution.  Honestly, do I really want Army to know how much I listen to Pat Benetar?

life on the outside

Published
by
iAN
on April 12, 2008
in general musings
. 6 Comments

I’ve gotten some pretty awesome Tweets from a few friends recently that have left me longing for life on the outside. By that, of course, I simply mean life outside of the military.  Lounging on the back porch after work; travel to Manhattan; fishing in northern Michigan - all of it just seems so foreign to me.  I question my loyalty to the military when I look at my daily schedule of up at 4, home by 6 - maybe.

I know if I abandoned this life and moved back home, I’d easily be able to land a job on base, working ten hour days (PAID overtime as needed), and could enjoy every other Friday off (or potentially EVERY Friday - I’m looking at you, Mr. F!).

I can honestly say I’ve been there, done that, fought for Truth and Justice and served my fellow Men.  Now I wonder if I can keep this up for the next fifteen years; I’ve survived the last five, but only just.

I know the grass is greener in everyone’s lawn but mine, but honestly, Army has taken away so much of my time, so much of my life, so much of me.  In October I stand ready to lose another year, shipping off to Iraq once again.  I have learned a lot about myself these last two years - more than I could have any other way - and that’s awesome.  But maybe that lesson has been learned and it’s time to call it quits and get back to a normal life; a life where I actually have more than two hours a day to spend with my family before I collapse in exhaustion.

the Vnolvo

Published
by
iAN
on April 1, 2008
in general musings
. 0 Comments

The flame trap assembly has been cleaned, the spark plugs have been changed - both were long overdue. Unfortunately, neither resulted in the desired end state: a functioning vehicle. It cranks and just kinda … spins. My guess is the starter / flywheel not working together properly.

I suppose it’s time to have it towed back home so I can properly check it out.