Tag Archive for 'struggle'

trouble

Published
by
iAN
on January 7, 2008
in general musings
. 0 Comments

My temper has been out of control the last few days.  It takes absolutely nothing at all to set me off and put me in a horrible mood.  I have been so snappy with the kids and have just gotten downright mean.

I don’t know what is going on.

How do I fix it?

watching them grow

Published
by
iAN
on November 9, 2007
in general musings
. 2 Comments

Aside from tantruming and hysterical behavior, spending time with the kids has been awesome. It is amazing to be able to watch them grow, even in so short a time as I’ve been home. Raden has the most vivid imagination, and while he doesn’t always involve his little sister in his play time, he is often very good at “teaching” her things. And MAN how he learns! He sees and hears and remembers pretty much everything going on around him. It is imperative you watch what you say around Rad, because he will absolutely repeat it!

Not until very recently have I started feeling really parental. The more involved I get with the kids, the more I realize how little I’ve done in the past; how … disconnected I have been from the whole parenting experience. It is not my intention to outline my shortcomings or the troubles of my past. To do so would, no doubt, suck me down to a place I do not wish to visit. Rather, the more I think and talk and write about my present and my future with the kids, the easier it becomes to deal with, and beyond simply “dealing”, it becomes enjoyment.

And did I mention Rad loves the Rick Moranis album?

child magic

Published
by
iAN
on November 4, 2007
in general musings
. 5 Comments

I’ve been struggling for some time to figure out a better way to deal with Raden’s outbursts. I know he’s going through his terrible twos, but I’ve never allowed myself to just accept that and move on. I’ve convinced myself there’s a strategy, a guide, a key to unlock the good behavior and shut the bad out.

How naive.

As I scoured the web for yet another site listing all the winning ways to discipline your toddler, something hit me. They’re all the same. They all tell me to do the same thing. They’re the things I already do. So wait, what does this mean?

This means there is no key. No epiphany. No magic. If there truly were The Way to deal with toddlers, every parent on the planet would already know it. We would have been taught it by our parents. We would have heard it on commercials. We would have listened to Bob Barker teach us every weekday for the last 35 years. “Help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered, and don’t forget to carry six pennies in your left sock and always keep a small clove of garlic in your pocket to bring out the good behavior in your toddlers.”

It’s not magic. It’s parenting. And it’s hard.